Maya: “Mom, I want to watch a Netflix show on the computer, but it looks black on the computer.”
Mom: “I’m trying to find you a show, Maya, but I’m having a problem with the computer. It’s slow and I think it’s frozen.”
Maya: “Oh, well I think we need a computer plumber to come and fix it then.”
Needless to say, we have had some plumbing repairs done recently.
It wasn’t until I had a 3-year-old that I learned that elastics are people. The big ones are mommies and daddies and the little ones are babies… oh, and barrettes too. And they must all be sorted according to colour everyday.
I have clearly been too vocal about how well things were going. Right after my last post, Maya woke up with a terrible case of diarrhea. Honestly! I can’t believe it. Not only that, Morgan had been sleeping up to 8 hours a night and she went back down to 3 hour stretches last night. Maya who had been getting up at 6am slept until 8:30, but the baby woke up at 6:30–Murphy’s Law!
Maya’s newest stomach problems decided to begin at the exact time that her friend arrived for a play date, and right when the baby woke up screaming with gas pains. Maya’s anxiety over having “splat poo” as she calls it has been reborn, only much more intense this time, as she screamed hysterically that she wanted me to “make it stop” in between accidents because she couldn’t make it to the toilet on time, poor kid!
My gracious friend departed pretty quickly and I don’t blame her. She’s 38 weeks pregnant and came with her little boy who is the same age as Maya. The morning was supposed to be a relaxing relief for her, instead she was holding my baby while I ran around helping Maya with her hysteria and clean-up. What a scene! Thank you, Universe, I am officially humbled… please forgive my hubris.
Sometime in December Maya got hit with a stomach bug. Not the barfing kind, but the other one, you know the ‘D-word’. She was pretty sick. Running to the toilet, having an accident in her pants in a public place (oh what fun!) and not really understanding what was going on. She even put herself to sleep for a nap when she got home… after she basically declared that she would never nap again. She was a bit freaked out by the whole thing. It passed quickly and we were all relieved.
Afterwards, I wanted to help speed her recovery so I purchased some intestinal flora for kids, you know little animal shaped vitamins with probiotics in them. The bottle had little hippos on it and Maya LOVED them. And why wouldn’t she? They taste like candy. She asked me why she was allowed to have these ‘candies’ every day, in fact twice a day without question. Afterall, I ration all her other sweets religiously. Naturally, she was perplexed by the free for all allowed by these magical ‘hippo candies’. So I explained that they would help give her “log poops” and could help prevent diarrhea.
Well somehow she got freaked out that she was going to have diarrhea every time she went to the bathroom unless she had the hippo candy in advance and she was having these anxiety attacks before every bowel movement, holding it in and frantically asking if she was going to have a healthy BM before every bathroom trip and double checking that she had taken her hippo candy. Poor kid,she became obsessed with the consistency of her poops! It was a bit of a scene. We worked hard to convince her that getting a stomach bug is actually rare, it doesn’t happen often.
Finally, after a month of more poo discussion than I ever thought I’d participate in, she is over it and has stopped asking me every day if she is going to have diarrhea and has stopped obsessing over her probiotics.
Convince me we’re normal here, what does your toddler obsess about?
The weather’s been super rainy here on the ‘wet coast’ and with two little kids, one of whom is a highly active 3-year-old, spending my days inside entertaining her while juggling the needs of my two month old isn’t exactly my idea of a good time.
We’re keeping busy by trying to organize playdates and go to activities like kindergym and gymnastics. Now that Maya isn’t napping in the afternoons, doing something in the morning isn’t really enough. The other day, I took her to a drop-in gymnastics lesson but couldn’t seem to find anyone available to play with her in the afternoon. So, without wanting to return home in the pouring (and I do mean POURING rain) I decided to brave the mall. I needed a few things and I thought at least Maya could play on those silly little kiddie rides, we can grab lunch at the food court, and there are lots of places to nurse the baby–not to mention the mecca of all toy stores for children: Toys ‘R Us.
Well, who knew that it would go SO well. I ended up wandering the mall with my two little ones for over 3 hours! There’s a part of me that thinks going to the mall for an afternoon is totally ridiculous and kind of terrible, especially since I’m from Calgary where going to the mall is the thing to do in the crummy, cold, snowy weather. I was so proud of our life here on Vancouver Island where we can be outside year round. We don’t have to get sucked into the capitalist ideology that shopping could make you happy–we live in a rainforest for goodness sake… but I give in, because Maya, Morgan and I had a fabulous time hanging out like ‘mall rats’ on a Thursday afternoon.
What do you do to keep your kiddos active on days when the weather keeps you indoors?
Since my last post about sleep, or the lack thereof, things have gotten better in some ways and worse in others.
The better part: baby seems to be stretching out her sleeps on occasion, giving me the odd 4 or 5 hour stretch (of course this is usually in the early part of the evening when I am awake thinking she’s going to wake up to nurse one more time before bed!) which gives me hope that she’s going to sleep through the night one day. She also seems to stay asleep most of the night simply waking up to nurse (while tucked in beside me in bed) and then falling back asleep without needing to be burped or rocked or anything (don’t get me wrong I’m still up every 3 hours to nurse and I’m still sleep deprived, just a little less so)…. what’s that universe? Your going to make me eat my words? Undoubtedly I’ve taunted you just by mentioning this out loud!
The worse part: Maya has officially quit napping. It’s not that she doesn’t need to nap, but she’s decided that she doesn’t want to. That said, she is managing through her wakeful afternoons with relative ease, usually having only one major meltdown and needing a single screaming & crying time-out to recover. Ah yes, the joy our children bring us!
At first I was in denial that she was done napping, and then I mourned the loss of the nap a little, because it was also MY nap. Are these the stages of grieving? If they are I’m now accepting the reality of no nap and appreciating the fact that there is actually an upside to no nap. I can now plan stuff in the afternoons, including play dates with other friends whose children don’t nap, and I can run errands of all kinds. It is nice NOT to be stranded at home. And anyway, as soon as Morgan starts having regular naps and stops sleeping well on the go, I’m going to be stuck at home not once, but most likely twice a day, so I’m enjoying the freedom while it lasts.
Maya is mastering the art of whispering and I’m mastering the art of dozing in a sitting-up position on the sofa while Morgan nurses and Maya plays nearby. This scene just about tops my list of things I never saw coming.
Posting has been light lately, such is the way with a newborn & a toddler. There is little time to breathe. Almost no time to blog. But I am full of material that I don’t have time to type up, and much is forgotten in this dream-like state in which I’m operating. Things are incredibly busy day and night, but I can say that I’m starting to enjoy it more and more now that I’m feeling mostly recovered from my c-section. Tomorrow Morgan will be 6 weeks old, wow!
Today, I was pleased with myself for managing to put my socks on with one hand while simultaneously breast feeding. Seriously, Morgan didn’t even miss a gulp! It seems I’ve had to learn all sorts of obscure new life skills in my current predicament. So moms, what ridiculous things have you learned to do since you had a baby? Or two? Would love to hear about your new adaptations.
My wonderful family has been so supportive in the weeks leading up to and following Morgan’s birth. My mom flew in from out of town for an entire month to help with Maya and my c-section recovery. She’s been amazing. I don’t know what I would have done without her. Then my dad came last weekend and did all kinds of fantastic handiwork for us, including helping us solve the mystery of the watery hardwood floors that appeared in our kitchen the day after I got home from three days in the pediatric ward of the hospital with Morgan. More on that craziness, later…
My in-laws also saved the day by taking care of Maya on Morgan’s birthday, after she’d been barfing all night long. Thank you Muriel & Tanya!
My parents left today.
Earlier this week I started to panic that my incision was still really hurting and I didn’t know how I’d take care of the baby and Maya while still feeling pain, and I knew my mom had to get on with her life and head home soon but I didn’t feel ready (at least not physically) to tackle the baby rocking combined with chasing after Maya. So I went to the doctor to see if there was some reason why my incision was still bothering me. The doctor said everything was fine and that I just needed to take it easy. I cried when she said that. Mostly because I’m totally sleep deprived and because I want to be healed already. AND how the hell am I going to take it easy when I’m taking care of two kids under the age of 3?! I just felt that I needed physical help, but emotionally I thought I was fine. I may have been wrong.
So, on my first day alone with both girls I made a plan. I took Maya to a dance class. I was so proud of myself for getting there on time and managing with Morgan in a carrier through the whole thing. I thought this would tire Maya out for her nap and then we could all have a rest. It seemed great until after lunch when suddenly today Maya decided that she doesn’t want to nap. And I cannot tell you how Maya’s naps have been my saving grace! I want and NEED her to nap more than I could possibly articulate with words. Combined with Maya’s no nap decision was Morgan’s decision to finally go from “happy, placid, sleeps-a-lot baby” to “difficult & must-be-cuddled-or nursed-every-second baby”. WTF?!
Needless to say, I found myself on the verge of tears as Maya cried in her bed insisting she couldn’t sleep, and my arms and back began to ache from holding Morgan for so long. Not one of my prouder moments. I called my husband in tears explaining that I wouldn’t be able to make dinner tonight and I was at the end of my rope. I know I only have to manage the two kids 3 days per week on my own. But I seriously don’t know how I’m going to do it. I thought planning activities and playdates would be enough. I was so wrong. So much is so unpredictable and Morgan is becoming more fussy and alert, as one would expect at four weeks.
Thank goodness Maya is off to daycare tomorrow. She needs it and I need it. Let’s remember how breastfeeding mothers never sleep for more than 3 hours at a stretch (well at least that’s the case for my babies) for many months. Hopefully the no nap thing is just a temporary glitch… Maya could be growing out of her naps. Oh man, I am going to be tired for a long, long, long time.
Life with baby is going pretty well. Yes, we’re up in the night, but with my husband home and my mom here helping for the next couple of weeks, we’re all taking shifts with baby and Maya. Maya is adjusting fairly well although she has moments where she wants to be with me and she’s really rambunctious while I’m trying to nurse the baby, which makes it hard because even though breast feeding is going very well, Morgan is still learning how to latch and has trouble from time-to-time and a bouncing, hyper toddler doesn’t make it any easier.
Nevertheless, Maya only wants to help and is curious about the baby:
Big Sister Maya taking care of her babies while Morgan sleeps in the bassinet
Maya helps baba with diaper change by giving her sister a soother
One thing I’m realizing as I’m up in the night with baby is the importance of needing to do stuff with one hand. Morgan has times where she’s up in the night, not really fussing, but wanting to be held. Meanwhile, I’m hungry and trying to fix myself a snack while she sleeps in my arms. I have an Ergo carrier, but it’s a bit cumbersome to wear when I’m in the house. So, I’m contemplating getting a sling that I can stick her in while I’m walking around in the kitchen or doing some laundry.
Please tell me about a baby sling that you love and would recommend, I have no idea which one to buy!
Baby girl Morgan (2 days old)
Um, yah so having a baby the second time is as mind blowing as the first time. That said, it was definitely easier this time. For all my worrying and anxiety most things went better than they did three years ago when Maya was born. Morgan is amazing, healthy and thriving. We love her to bits!
Today I came home from the hospital (Morgan was born on Friday). Coming home on Halloween is definitely not ideal. Maya had a party at her preschool, Morgan had some blood work and an ultrasound (more about that later…), then when we picked Maya up after school she had to eat dinner, get in her costume, go trick-or-treating as well as adjust to the fact that there’s a new baby sister in the house absorbing everyone’s (especially mom’s) attention. She was pretty good about everything, but it was still nuts! I was exhausted, Chad’s still fighting a sinus cold and my mom is here helping us through this whole transition.
My hubby and I feel like we’ve turned Maya’s whole world up side down–oh the guilt! But, the reality is that she doesn’t understand how much her life has really changed. We adults, on the other hand, are feeling totally overwhelmed as we consider how to deal with Maya, her behaviour towards her sister and where to place limits for her. Don’t get me wrong, she’s totally being sweet, there’s just so much that she doesn’t understand about how to treat a newborn as well as how to react to the inevitable shift in attention.
I was so worried about how I’d manage taking care of a newborn and a toddler, that I forgot to ask: how do you help an older sibling adjust to the change from being an only child to being a sibling? Suggestions are welcome!
