sleep training

Morgan got a present for her 4 month birthday, I taught her how to put herself to sleep!

Before you all get up in arms about the ‘cry it out’ method and how cruel it is, let me first say everyone’s got to what’s right for them. If you want to soothe your baby to sleep til he/she is a year old… or more, go for it. I simply can’t. I’d lose my mind.

There was this wonderful phase when Morgan was just two months old and she basically slept through the night for about a month. I blogged about it here  It made me think things would just improve from there on out, and I’d never have to worry about “training” her to sleep. And for the zillionth time since I became a mom I was SO WRONG.

We all got colds shortly after that post and so naturally she slept less and needed me more… and I went. And she became accustomed to the comfort of mom & nursing every few hours.

I lasted six weeks before I hit the wall. And by that I mean I could not take the sleep loss for A.SINGLE.SECOND.LONGER. So, that day I dug up a website link that I’d used three years ago when Maya was about the same age. I re-read the 200 page book in about 3 hours of sleep deprived mania. I immediately, and I mean at the very next nap that Morgan took, decided to implement the approach recommended by the author. It worked so effectively I could hardly believe it. What had I been waiting for?

So the online book I read is called “The Sleep Sense Program” by Dana Obleman, and it explains (with specific strategies) how to train your child to soothe him/herself to sleep starting at 3 months or older. It’s largely based on the philosophy put forth by Weissbluth in his book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It has very specific strategies and it does involve letting your baby cry, sorry to those of you who are offended by this. That said, I’m one of the lucky ones because Morgan never cried for more than 10 minutes. Really the max was 7, I think.

And after 3 nights, we’re golden. She HAD been waking up every 2 hours (and I was losing my mind).  The first night of ‘The Sleep Sense Program’, she slept 4 hours, then 3 hours, then another 3 and then another 3–a vast improvement. Not only that, she started taking longer naps during the day. The next night it was 5 hours and then 3 and 3. Last night it was 6 and then almost 4 more, plus long naps again. Each time she woke to nurse and went right back to sleep after I put her in bed again. I’m also getting her to bed at the same time as Maya-bonus: my husband and I actually get some time alone together in the evenings again.

So, do what’s right for you. But if you’re struggling and sleep deprived and don’t know what else to do, I urge you to try this program because it could really work. Trust me, there’s much more to it than plunking your kid in her crib and leaving her to cry. There’s a method, a system. And if you are a sleep starved mother, you could regain your sanity!

cloth debate

When Maya was a baby I used cloth diapers for about 6 months. Then, we put our house up for sale and I had enough to deal with trying to keep the house immaculate for showings, and so I decided to use disposables… NEVER LOOKED BACK.

You see the switch made my life so much easier (yay!)… but it doubled our garbage (boo!). It’s kind of sickening, but I needed to do it.

Then, once daycare started, there was no choice, I had to continue with disposable diapers. I started out with Morgan using the beloved Pampers. They work so darn well! But my conscience is killing me so now, Morgan is 2 months old and I’m going to try to switch to cloth. I have all these cloth diapers from last time, it would be a shame not to use them. I used the old fashioned prefolds last time, but I also have some Mother-ease diapers that I’m excited to try out. Either way, I’ll save loads of money and garbage… as long as I can keep up with the laundry.

Wish me luck!

mall rats

The weather’s been super rainy here on the ‘wet coast’ and with two little kids, one of whom is a highly active 3-year-old, spending my days inside entertaining her while juggling the needs of my two month old isn’t exactly my idea of a good time.

We’re keeping busy by trying to organize playdates and go to activities like kindergym and gymnastics. Now that Maya isn’t napping in the afternoons, doing something in the morning isn’t really enough. The other day, I took her to a drop-in gymnastics lesson but couldn’t seem to find anyone available to play with her in the afternoon. So, without wanting to return home in the pouring (and I do mean POURING rain) I decided to brave the mall. I needed a few things and I thought at least Maya could play on those silly little kiddie rides, we can grab lunch at the food court, and there are lots of places to nurse the baby–not to mention the mecca of all toy stores for children: Toys ‘R Us.

Well, who knew that it would go SO well. I ended up wandering the mall with my two little ones for over 3 hours! There’s a part of me that thinks going to the mall for an afternoon is totally ridiculous and kind of terrible, especially since I’m from Calgary where going to the mall is the thing to do in the crummy, cold, snowy weather. I was so proud of our life here on Vancouver Island where we can be outside year round. We don’t have to get sucked into the capitalist ideology that shopping could make you happy–we live in a rainforest for goodness sake… but I give in, because Maya, Morgan and I had a fabulous time hanging out like ‘mall rats’ on a Thursday afternoon.

What do you do to keep your kiddos active on days when the weather keeps you indoors?

baby fat

I’m finally feeling recovered from my c-section. My recently dislocated shoulder is giving me a bit of grief–all the baby rocking and lifting Maya isn’t great for a shoulder that hasn’t fully healed. But aside from that I’m feeling like I really want to kick start the weight loss from what I gained during pregnancy and re-sculpt my body, because I used to be really fit! I love working out and I’ve missed it.

But when you’re stuck at home with two kids, what are you supposed to do? Well, my sister who is a personal trainer, boot camp instructor, and fitness guru, has directed me to the Bodyrock website. Okay, I know it’s kind of soft porn because of the hot girls with big boobs bouncing around (and I just lost all my male readers who are now watching Bodyrock TV…), but the workouts are actually excellent. The people on the site really know what they’re doing and the best part is that you can do all the workouts in your own home, and they’re pretty short which means I can squeeze them into my day. There are loads of archives to scroll through so that you can target the areas that you most want to work on. I watched a host of videos yesterday and then my dear sweet hubby let me go to the gym for an hour to get a quick workout in, and I put to work a lot of the stuff I’ve gleaned from the site. I don’t have much weight to lose after baby, but I have a LOT of re-toning to do as things got stretched out the 2nd time around in ways that I don’t even want to think about.

I know that I won’t have much time to exercise once my mat. leave is over, so I’m doing my best now to develop good eating and exercise habits that will put me in the kind of shape I want to be in when this blissful year of being a full-time mom is over!

it’s official

Since my last post about sleep, or the lack thereof, things have gotten better in some ways and worse in others.

The better part: baby seems to be stretching out her sleeps on occasion, giving me the odd 4 or 5 hour stretch (of course this is usually in the early part of the evening when I am awake thinking she’s going to wake up to nurse one more time before bed!) which gives me hope that she’s going to sleep through the night one day. She also seems to stay asleep most of the night simply waking up to nurse (while tucked in beside me in bed) and then falling back asleep without needing to be burped or rocked or anything (don’t get me wrong I’m still up every 3 hours to nurse and I’m still sleep deprived, just a little less so)…. what’s that universe? Your going to make me eat my words? Undoubtedly I’ve taunted you just by mentioning this out loud!

The worse part: Maya has officially quit napping. It’s not that she doesn’t need to nap, but she’s decided that she doesn’t want to. That said, she is managing through her wakeful afternoons with relative ease, usually having only one major meltdown and needing a single screaming & crying time-out to recover. Ah yes, the joy our children bring us!

At first I was in denial that she was done napping, and then I mourned the loss of the nap a little, because it was also MY nap. Are these the stages of grieving? If they are I’m now accepting the reality of no nap and appreciating the fact that there is actually an upside to no nap. I can now plan stuff in the afternoons, including play dates with other friends whose children don’t nap, and I can run errands of all kinds. It is nice NOT to be stranded at home. And anyway, as soon as Morgan starts having regular naps and stops sleeping well on the go, I’m going to be stuck at home not once, but most likely twice a day, so I’m enjoying the freedom while it lasts.

Maya is mastering the art of whispering and I’m mastering the art of dozing in a sitting-up position on the sofa while Morgan nurses and Maya plays nearby. This scene just about tops my list of things I never saw coming.

specialist’s findings

We met with a pediatric urologist about Morgan’s horseshoe kidney a few days ago. While things are looking good, it’s not all sunshine and roses.Her kidneys are working properly, and this is good. She is, however, at risk for developing kidney stones later in life as well as having UTI’s. Nevertheless, it may be the case that she won’t ever have either of these problems–only time will tell. But the specialist did say that because of their shape and location, horseshoe kidneys tend to drain poorly and that’s what can cause problems. So, we’ll see him again in a year for another ultrasound to be sure things are continuing to go well.

The more concerning aspect for me is the fact that this type of kidney malformation means that her kidneys are located much lower than a normal set of kidneys. Typically, kidneys are located high up and are protected by the rib cage. But horseshoe kidneys are lower and located closer to the belly button in the front of the body, leaving them exposed and more prone to injury/trauma.

My husband and I enjoy many sports and we want to encourage our girls to participate in all kinds of activities until they find their niches. Contact sports, or sports where Morgan could be hit in the abdomen, are much more risky and could be catastrophic if her kidneys were hit hard enough. Of course, we don’t want to be paranoid and keep her in a bubble, but knowing that she has to be careful for her entire life is scary for me.

I know that I fell hard a LOT of times as a kid. I got the wind knocked out of me quite on countless occasions doing all kinds of reckless things. What’s to stop Morgan from having similar accidents? The urologist made it clear that the intestines are much more forgiving than the kidneys, so these kinds of accidents would be much worse for Morgan. And kids fall a LOT.

Happy as I am that she’s doing so well despite having unusually shaped kidneys, I can’t help but worry about how we’re going to keep her safe and well with her fragile condition. Isn’t that what every parent wants? To keep their child safe from harm? We’re seeking to strike a balance here between freedom & safety, but I’m just not entirely sure what that ought to look like…

single-handedly

Life with baby is going pretty well. Yes, we’re up in the night, but with my husband home and my mom here helping for the next couple of weeks, we’re all taking shifts with baby and Maya. Maya is adjusting fairly well although she has moments where she wants to be with me and she’s really rambunctious while I’m trying to nurse the baby, which makes it hard because even though breast feeding is going very well, Morgan is still learning how to latch and has trouble from time-to-time and a bouncing, hyper toddler doesn’t make it any easier.

Nevertheless, Maya only wants to help and is curious about the baby:

Big Sister Maya taking care of her babies while Morgan sleeps in the bassinet

Maya helps baba with diaper change by giving her sister a soother

One thing I’m realizing as I’m up in the night with baby is the importance of needing to do stuff with one hand. Morgan has times where she’s up in the night, not really fussing, but wanting to be held. Meanwhile, I’m hungry and trying to fix myself a snack while she sleeps in my arms. I have an Ergo carrier, but it’s a bit cumbersome to wear when I’m in the house. So, I’m contemplating getting a sling that I can stick her in while I’m walking around in the kitchen or doing some laundry.

Please tell me about a baby sling that you love and would recommend, I have no idea which one to buy!

Baby sister in the house

Baby girl Morgan (2 days old)

Um, yah so having a baby the second time is as mind blowing as the first time. That said, it was definitely easier this time. For all my worrying and anxiety most things went better than they did three years ago when Maya was born. Morgan is amazing, healthy and thriving. We love her to bits!

Today I came home from the hospital (Morgan was born on Friday). Coming home on Halloween is definitely not ideal. Maya had a party at her preschool, Morgan had some blood work and an ultrasound (more about that later…), then when we picked Maya up after school she had to eat dinner, get in her costume, go trick-or-treating as well as adjust to the fact that there’s a new baby sister in the house absorbing everyone’s (especially mom’s) attention. She was pretty good about everything, but it was still nuts! I was exhausted, Chad’s still fighting a sinus cold and my mom is here helping us through this whole transition.

My hubby and I feel like we’ve turned Maya’s whole world up side down–oh the guilt! But, the reality is that she doesn’t understand how much her life has really changed. We adults, on the other hand, are feeling totally overwhelmed as we consider how to deal with Maya, her behaviour towards her sister and where to place limits for her. Don’t get me wrong, she’s totally being sweet, there’s just so much that she doesn’t understand about how to treat a newborn as well as how to react to the inevitable shift in attention.

I was so worried about how I’d manage taking care of a newborn and a toddler, that I forgot to ask: how do you help an older sibling adjust to the change from being an only child to being a sibling? Suggestions are welcome!

Baby’s birthday eve

Well, I’d love to say things are going well and we’re all ready to go. But sadly this is not the case. Maya has a terrible stomach flu and has been vomiting nonstop for hours. My husband has some sort of other flu bug and I am going in for a c-section in less than 10 hours. This is the craziest night ever!

How do you do it?

Baby’s arrival is less than 48 hours away. It doesn’t seem real. Everyone keeps asking me, are you getting excited? And yes, I am excited, but I am so many more things than excited. I’m anxious. I’m tired. I’m scared out of my mind. I’m going to have a new baby on Friday! I’m having major surgery! We are becoming a family of four! Ahhh!

Sleep is getting harder and harder to come by, in part because of the aches and discomforts of the final trimester of pregnancy, but even more so because when I close my eyes my mind is so busy. I try to take deep breaths to quiet the ‘monkey mind’ (as my yoga instructor calls it), but I’m worried I’m going to forget about something important. I have lists everywhere, on my iPhone, on my computer, on zillions of little papers scattered about the house…

Yes, it’s true that I’ve been through this before, but that doesn’t make it all that much easier. I do hope that breast feeding will be easier this time, but I don’t know that it will be. I also know that there were some complications at the time of Maya’s birth and I don’t know if those same things will arise again… or what if something else happens. I know this is counter-productive thinking. But until I hold this little one in my arms, until I know that (s)he’s okay, I’m not going to feel settled.

No, we don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl. Everyone around me says they think it’s going to be a boy, but I don’t have strong feelings either way. I’m not really intuitive about these things. And I can honestly say that I don’t have a preference. I love my little girl and would welcome another, but I’d also be thrilled to have the chance to raise a little boy.

Off I go to embark on this new journey and somehow try to juggle a toddler and a baby. Yes, lots of people do it… but I’m still totally freaked out! So, mom’s of two, give me your best advice… how do you do it?