Maya: “Mom, I want to watch a Netflix show on the computer, but it looks black on the computer.”
Mom: “I’m trying to find you a show, Maya, but I’m having a problem with the computer. It’s slow and I think it’s frozen.”
Maya: “Oh, well I think we need a computer plumber to come and fix it then.”
Needless to say, we have had some plumbing repairs done recently.
I’ve always been a little paranoid about toxins in our environment. And it seems like so many people are getting cancer, young people. Did this always happen? Or are we just able to detect more cancers now? Or is there really more cancer because we’re all being exposed to stuff that makes us sicker?
There was the whole BPA scandal where we found out that we’d all been using plastics for years that contained a hazardous chemical. Now, we still use plastic but are told that much of it doesn’t contain BPA–at least not the stuff that we’re giving to our babies. But get THIS: I saw a Nature of Things episode the other night in which I learned that BPA was replaced with BPS in plastics. Does anyone know if BPS is any safer?
In our house, we’ve switched from plastic to glass & steel. Well sort of… as much as anyone can. We got glass lock containers instead of tupperware (but the lids are plastic). We have stainless steel water bottles & coffee mugs. But when I start thinking about all the food items in my house and what they’re packaged in, it’s mostly plastic except for some glass jars and some canned goods. But even the cans are now lined with plastic, which I think has BPA in it. It would be so difficult to avoid all the plastic. It’s everywhere.
Not to mention the whole radiation issue. There’s wi-fi everywhere you go and I LOVE LOVE LOVE my iPhone and my computer. When I’m rocking the baby to sleep, I sometimes have my ear buds in while I watch a show on netflix, it makes passing the time so much easier. Maya loves the apps and she uses our MacBook computer for all kinds of learning & entertainment. So, am I irradiating my children? Is all my technology safe?
The truth is I have no idea and there’s no definitive evidence to prove that any of this stuff is really harmful. But shouldn’t we employ the precautionary principle? It seems to me we tend to use all these products & chemicals until there is a problem, and then we start to worry. Isn’t this approach totally backwards? Shouldn’t everything be tested extensively to ensure that it’s safe before it’s marketed? I know this wouldn’t suit the capitalist model–corporations would be very angry if there was increased regulation and delays in getting products out on the market as fast as possible.
But what are we to do?
It’s the second night of Hannukah, and here’s a scene I never thought I’d have a picture of in MY kitchen:
We are trying to give our children a balance of our two backgrounds, mine being Jewish and my husband’s being a non-denominational somewhat Christian background. That is to say, he’s not into religion but his family has always celebrated Christmas. This is a difficult holiday for this Jewish girl to embrace, as it’s basically the ideological dividing point between Jews and Christians. I’m not very religious, but I do have a bit of guilt about celebrating Christmas. I was raised to understand that Jewish children just don’t celebrate Christmas, and I never felt left out. I actually felt special because we had this unique holiday that no one else did. I loved latkes and dreidles and not having to wait until Dec 25th to open my gifts, because Hannukah usually precedes Christmas. And, my great grandfather was a rabbi. And let’s face it, Jewish guilt comes naturally to me!
Either way, we are trying to emphasize Hannukah and Christmas on alternating years. This year it’s Christmas. So, I am lighting the candles and exposing Maya to the bracha (prayer/blessing) since she’s now old enough to say it. But really we’re engaging in all kinds of Western Christmas traditions like decorating the the tree, making gingerbread houses and of course educating our daughter about the whole Santa story. I don’t love it. In fact, I kind of dislike it. The whole holiday frenzy that everyone gets into, the consumerism that creates the obligation to buy buy buy, the pressure to get up a tree and lights and cook a huge dinner on this one day. Don’t get me wrong, the tree is nice and I love turkey dinners, but as an adult who doesn’t have any of the feelings of nostalgia for my own childhood Christmas joy (since there was no Christmas in our house), I tend to feel like it’s all a big hassle and very artificial.
Still, I want to do this for my husband and his family. Afterall, Christmas is as important to them as my traditions are to me. Embracing both backgrounds is difficult. Especially because I want Maya to see herself as a Jew and embrace her Jewish heritage as I have done, but how do I do that without discounting my husband’s background? I know I must support his traditions as much as mine, and I do. But it is hard… harder than I imagined it would be.
Life with baby is going pretty well. Yes, we’re up in the night, but with my husband home and my mom here helping for the next couple of weeks, we’re all taking shifts with baby and Maya. Maya is adjusting fairly well although she has moments where she wants to be with me and she’s really rambunctious while I’m trying to nurse the baby, which makes it hard because even though breast feeding is going very well, Morgan is still learning how to latch and has trouble from time-to-time and a bouncing, hyper toddler doesn’t make it any easier.
Nevertheless, Maya only wants to help and is curious about the baby:
Big Sister Maya taking care of her babies while Morgan sleeps in the bassinet
Maya helps baba with diaper change by giving her sister a soother
One thing I’m realizing as I’m up in the night with baby is the importance of needing to do stuff with one hand. Morgan has times where she’s up in the night, not really fussing, but wanting to be held. Meanwhile, I’m hungry and trying to fix myself a snack while she sleeps in my arms. I have an Ergo carrier, but it’s a bit cumbersome to wear when I’m in the house. So, I’m contemplating getting a sling that I can stick her in while I’m walking around in the kitchen or doing some laundry.
Please tell me about a baby sling that you love and would recommend, I have no idea which one to buy!
Baby girl Morgan (2 days old)
Um, yah so having a baby the second time is as mind blowing as the first time. That said, it was definitely easier this time. For all my worrying and anxiety most things went better than they did three years ago when Maya was born. Morgan is amazing, healthy and thriving. We love her to bits!
Today I came home from the hospital (Morgan was born on Friday). Coming home on Halloween is definitely not ideal. Maya had a party at her preschool, Morgan had some blood work and an ultrasound (more about that later…), then when we picked Maya up after school she had to eat dinner, get in her costume, go trick-or-treating as well as adjust to the fact that there’s a new baby sister in the house absorbing everyone’s (especially mom’s) attention. She was pretty good about everything, but it was still nuts! I was exhausted, Chad’s still fighting a sinus cold and my mom is here helping us through this whole transition.
My hubby and I feel like we’ve turned Maya’s whole world up side down–oh the guilt! But, the reality is that she doesn’t understand how much her life has really changed. We adults, on the other hand, are feeling totally overwhelmed as we consider how to deal with Maya, her behaviour towards her sister and where to place limits for her. Don’t get me wrong, she’s totally being sweet, there’s just so much that she doesn’t understand about how to treat a newborn as well as how to react to the inevitable shift in attention.
I was so worried about how I’d manage taking care of a newborn and a toddler, that I forgot to ask: how do you help an older sibling adjust to the change from being an only child to being a sibling? Suggestions are welcome!
Baby’s arrival is less than 48 hours away. It doesn’t seem real. Everyone keeps asking me, are you getting excited? And yes, I am excited, but I am so many more things than excited. I’m anxious. I’m tired. I’m scared out of my mind. I’m going to have a new baby on Friday! I’m having major surgery! We are becoming a family of four! Ahhh!
Sleep is getting harder and harder to come by, in part because of the aches and discomforts of the final trimester of pregnancy, but even more so because when I close my eyes my mind is so busy. I try to take deep breaths to quiet the ‘monkey mind’ (as my yoga instructor calls it), but I’m worried I’m going to forget about something important. I have lists everywhere, on my iPhone, on my computer, on zillions of little papers scattered about the house…
Yes, it’s true that I’ve been through this before, but that doesn’t make it all that much easier. I do hope that breast feeding will be easier this time, but I don’t know that it will be. I also know that there were some complications at the time of Maya’s birth and I don’t know if those same things will arise again… or what if something else happens. I know this is counter-productive thinking. But until I hold this little one in my arms, until I know that (s)he’s okay, I’m not going to feel settled.
No, we don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl. Everyone around me says they think it’s going to be a boy, but I don’t have strong feelings either way. I’m not really intuitive about these things. And I can honestly say that I don’t have a preference. I love my little girl and would welcome another, but I’d also be thrilled to have the chance to raise a little boy.
Off I go to embark on this new journey and somehow try to juggle a toddler and a baby. Yes, lots of people do it… but I’m still totally freaked out! So, mom’s of two, give me your best advice… how do you do it?
When I was about 33 weeks along, we hired Tracey Barry of Tracey Barry Photography to take some photos of the three of us, plus baby belly. We hadn’t really done professional family photos since Maya was first born. It was a terrible day, with clouds, wind and driving rain. We were just about to call off the shoot when the clouds parted and the sun appeared for one glorious hour. It was meant to be! And while I generally don’t love getting my picture taken, I’m quite happy with how these turned out.
Thank you, Tracey!
Well, our little monkey sure is curious about body parts these days. Yep, there’s whole lot of penis and vagina talk going on. Not to mention a fascination with breasts–today when I got out of the shower she asked if she could please touch mine! When I said, “I’d really rather you didn’t”, she was quite disappointed.
At the dinner table there was talk of daddy’s “boobies” and Maya was wondering why they were so small. Then she asked grandma if she had “big boobies” and more importantly, “are they bigger than daddy’s?”. When grandma said yes, Maya asked, “can I see them please?”. Ah, so polite, yet so wrong. All we could do was laugh… and then of course explain that some body parts are private.
Dinner conversation has certainly changed!
She begins with what seems like a normal, civilized painting session…
Then we progress to a little finger painting. Still within reason…
And then, we move to the next phase. It doesn’t take long before…
And it goes on… But at some point I have to drop the camera to prevent her from eating the paint by licking it off the paintbrush and off her body. In short, we’ve learned not to bring out the paints unless we are planning a bath soon after.
On the car ride home with a plate full of fresh baked cookies from Maya’s amazing daycare:
“Mom, don’t eat my cookies, okay?”
“Okay, I won’t eat your cookies.”
“Okay mom, you can eat your food. You can eat zucchinis and mushrooms and celery, but not MY cookies, okay?”
“Alright. Why don’t you want me to eat your cookies?”
” ‘Cause ’cause I want to eat them, they’re for me. I don’t want Sosuke to eat my cookies.” (Sosuke is a character from the movie Ponyo)
“How could Sosuke eat your cookies?”
“Well, I just don’t want him to eat them, and I don’t want daddy to eat them, and I don’t want Ponyo to eat them, and I don’t want Ponyo’s dad to eat them, and I don’t want Sosuke’s dad to eat them. I don’t want ANYONE to eat my cookies.”
“Okay, no one else will eat your cookies.”
“And I don’t want grandma to eat them, and I don’t want Opa to eat them, and I don’t want…”
And well… you get the idea, the list went on for a VERY long time. One thing is certain, we don’t have to worry about our daughter’s ability to be assertive.
