Oh Frida!

Morgan is growing like a weed. She is now somewhere around the 14 pound mark, I think. She is 5 months old and already has a tooth and is very nearly crawling. Time is flying.

Last week she had yet another cold. I kept trying to aspirate her nose with one of those rubber bulb syringes from my baby care kit.

 If you’ve used one of these, you know that babies hate them. At least my babies do. My girls turn away whenever I try to use it, and usually the whole ordeal ends with a lot of crying and me giving up. Since Morgan was hospitalized at an early age, I learned the importance of keeping her nose as clear as possible when she’s got a cold. But the bulb syringe has been difficult.

 

Enter solution: NoseFrida! a.k.a The Snotsucker Nasal Aspirator.

Before you use it, you have to get over the concept… or to be frank, the possibility that you might end up sucking up some of your baby’s snot. But really, it’s pretty unlikely. This thing was designed in Sweden and is way more effective than a bulb syringe, and they say even more powerful than the commercial suction machines because it’s powered by a stronger sucker–the human lungs! Yes, you have to suck the snot out yourself. But don’t panic, it’s totally hygenic with filters and a very long tube so you’re not going to get anything in your mouth… although I guess in theory you could. Anyway, with this I was actually able to clear out Morgan’s mucus so that both she and I could get some rest at night when her cold was at its worst. Go to the website, think about it. My older daughter didn’t learn to blow her nose until she was over the age of 2, and kids get a LOT of colds. This is going to be one handy device for the next 18 months!

sleep training

Morgan got a present for her 4 month birthday, I taught her how to put herself to sleep!

Before you all get up in arms about the ‘cry it out’ method and how cruel it is, let me first say everyone’s got to what’s right for them. If you want to soothe your baby to sleep til he/she is a year old… or more, go for it. I simply can’t. I’d lose my mind.

There was this wonderful phase when Morgan was just two months old and she basically slept through the night for about a month. I blogged about it here  It made me think things would just improve from there on out, and I’d never have to worry about “training” her to sleep. And for the zillionth time since I became a mom I was SO WRONG.

We all got colds shortly after that post and so naturally she slept less and needed me more… and I went. And she became accustomed to the comfort of mom & nursing every few hours.

I lasted six weeks before I hit the wall. And by that I mean I could not take the sleep loss for A.SINGLE.SECOND.LONGER. So, that day I dug up a website link that I’d used three years ago when Maya was about the same age. I re-read the 200 page book in about 3 hours of sleep deprived mania. I immediately, and I mean at the very next nap that Morgan took, decided to implement the approach recommended by the author. It worked so effectively I could hardly believe it. What had I been waiting for?

So the online book I read is called “The Sleep Sense Program” by Dana Obleman, and it explains (with specific strategies) how to train your child to soothe him/herself to sleep starting at 3 months or older. It’s largely based on the philosophy put forth by Weissbluth in his book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It has very specific strategies and it does involve letting your baby cry, sorry to those of you who are offended by this. That said, I’m one of the lucky ones because Morgan never cried for more than 10 minutes. Really the max was 7, I think.

And after 3 nights, we’re golden. She HAD been waking up every 2 hours (and I was losing my mind).  The first night of ‘The Sleep Sense Program’, she slept 4 hours, then 3 hours, then another 3 and then another 3–a vast improvement. Not only that, she started taking longer naps during the day. The next night it was 5 hours and then 3 and 3. Last night it was 6 and then almost 4 more, plus long naps again. Each time she woke to nurse and went right back to sleep after I put her in bed again. I’m also getting her to bed at the same time as Maya-bonus: my husband and I actually get some time alone together in the evenings again.

So, do what’s right for you. But if you’re struggling and sleep deprived and don’t know what else to do, I urge you to try this program because it could really work. Trust me, there’s much more to it than plunking your kid in her crib and leaving her to cry. There’s a method, a system. And if you are a sleep starved mother, you could regain your sanity!

freedom pump

Finally, my new baby girl is sleeping more at night. It seems I get at least 5 hours, and often 7 or more hours of sleep each night… that’s IN A ROW–amazing! This has been consistent for almost 3 weeks now, so I feel safe to say it without worrying that she’s going to completely regress. Sleep makes me feel human and when she sleeps from 10pm til 4am, I am generally exploding with milk. So, this is the time to pump, and when I do I can sometimes get a full 5 oz bottle–halleluyah!

The only trade-off is that I must choose to stay awake at 4am. This is hard, because after 6 hours of rest I’m at the peak of fatigue, craving a few more hours of rest. And this is when I must choose between going back to bed and having some time to myself later on. If there’s pumped milk on hand my husband can feed Morgan and I can go to the gym, the grocery store, or pretty much anywhere for more than an hour. The freedom is thrilling. Some of you might think it pathetic to be thrilled to go to the grocery store alone… I’m guessing those people have never breast fed a newborn. Sometimes I choose sleep in the wee hours of the morning, but I usually regret that choice. Trade-offs… life is full of ‘em.

When I pump a bottle of milk, I marvel at this incredible substance. It’s weird as hell that my body manufactures this stuff and that it’s the ONLY thing Morgan consumes, and she has nearly doubled her body weight since birth! She’s learning, growing and thriving from this and this alone. Not only that, she LOVES her monotonous diet of milk, milk and more milk over and above all else.

I need to take a moment here just to say: nature is incredible!

the night

She’s fussing. Tired. I wrap her up in a warm blanket, cradle her against me & begin to rock.

I pace the house. Bouncing. Count my steps to pass the time. Hear her frantically sucking the soother. I’m willing her to fall sleep, so that I can sleep. Aching arms, rocking & bouncing.

Milk drunk hiccups.

She calms down, starts to settle so I try the rocking chair. Counting again, one hundred rocks aren’t enough. Maybe another hundred…

At long last, she lets go and relaxes against me. She’s out.

I look down at her through the darkness.

Angel face.

Don’t want to put her in her bed anymore. Linger a little longer holding her tight.

Finally, my own fatigue gets the better of me. I put her down.

Crawl into my own bed for as long as she will allow.

soother fingers thumb

Maya sucks her fingers. It’s a good thing because she can soothe herself and has been able to do so since she found those fingers at only a few months of age.

Maya at a few months of age

But her teeth are going to be atrocious if I can’t get her to stop. My dad sucked the same two fingers. My sister sucked hers obsessively, and she had a zillion dollars worth of dental work done to correct it (and her teeth are perfect now). Maya kind of wants to stop because she knows it’s a “big girl” thing to do… but she simply isn’t ready and still craves it. I’m working on it. Tips for helping her quit are welcome.

In the hope that Morgan wouldn’t follow in her sisters ‘finger sucking’ footsteps (and for numerous other reasons), I gave her a soother from the day she was born. I LOVE the soother. She’s not overly hooked on it and it saved my nipples from that dry, cracked, aching pain in the first weeks after she was born (I was tortured with Maya at the beginning). The soother helps people other than me calm her down and get her to sleep.  It’s so fantastic.

But this past week, Morgan has been pulling out her soother and trying eagerly to suck her thumb. In fact, she’s now practicing the thumb sucking every chance she gets.Determined to master it.

Morgan working on the thumb

I don’t think I can stop her… she’s as fixated on her thumb as her sister is on her other fingers. Whatever will I do?!

Bring on the dental bills.

Jinxed

I have clearly been too vocal about how well things were going. Right after my last post, Maya woke up with a terrible case of diarrhea. Honestly! I can’t believe it. Not only that, Morgan had been sleeping up to 8 hours a night and she went back down to 3 hour stretches last night. Maya who had been getting up at 6am slept until 8:30, but the baby woke up at 6:30–Murphy’s Law!

Maya’s newest stomach problems decided to begin at the exact time that her friend arrived for a play date, and right when the baby woke up screaming with gas pains. Maya’s anxiety over having “splat poo” as she calls it has been reborn, only much more intense this time, as she screamed hysterically that she wanted me to “make it stop” in between accidents because she couldn’t make it to the toilet on time, poor kid!

My gracious friend departed pretty quickly and I don’t blame her.  She’s 38 weeks pregnant and came with her little boy who is the same age as Maya. The morning was supposed to be a relaxing relief for her, instead she was holding my baby while I ran around helping Maya with her hysteria and clean-up. What a scene! Thank you, Universe, I am officially humbled… please forgive my hubris.

cloth debate

When Maya was a baby I used cloth diapers for about 6 months. Then, we put our house up for sale and I had enough to deal with trying to keep the house immaculate for showings, and so I decided to use disposables… NEVER LOOKED BACK.

You see the switch made my life so much easier (yay!)… but it doubled our garbage (boo!). It’s kind of sickening, but I needed to do it.

Then, once daycare started, there was no choice, I had to continue with disposable diapers. I started out with Morgan using the beloved Pampers. They work so darn well! But my conscience is killing me so now, Morgan is 2 months old and I’m going to try to switch to cloth. I have all these cloth diapers from last time, it would be a shame not to use them. I used the old fashioned prefolds last time, but I also have some Mother-ease diapers that I’m excited to try out. Either way, I’ll save loads of money and garbage… as long as I can keep up with the laundry.

Wish me luck!

mall rats

The weather’s been super rainy here on the ‘wet coast’ and with two little kids, one of whom is a highly active 3-year-old, spending my days inside entertaining her while juggling the needs of my two month old isn’t exactly my idea of a good time.

We’re keeping busy by trying to organize playdates and go to activities like kindergym and gymnastics. Now that Maya isn’t napping in the afternoons, doing something in the morning isn’t really enough. The other day, I took her to a drop-in gymnastics lesson but couldn’t seem to find anyone available to play with her in the afternoon. So, without wanting to return home in the pouring (and I do mean POURING rain) I decided to brave the mall. I needed a few things and I thought at least Maya could play on those silly little kiddie rides, we can grab lunch at the food court, and there are lots of places to nurse the baby–not to mention the mecca of all toy stores for children: Toys ‘R Us.

Well, who knew that it would go SO well. I ended up wandering the mall with my two little ones for over 3 hours! There’s a part of me that thinks going to the mall for an afternoon is totally ridiculous and kind of terrible, especially since I’m from Calgary where going to the mall is the thing to do in the crummy, cold, snowy weather. I was so proud of our life here on Vancouver Island where we can be outside year round. We don’t have to get sucked into the capitalist ideology that shopping could make you happy–we live in a rainforest for goodness sake… but I give in, because Maya, Morgan and I had a fabulous time hanging out like ‘mall rats’ on a Thursday afternoon.

What do you do to keep your kiddos active on days when the weather keeps you indoors?

melding traditions

It’s the second night of Hannukah, and here’s a scene I never thought I’d have a picture of in MY kitchen:

We are trying to give our children a balance of our two backgrounds, mine being Jewish and my husband’s being a non-denominational somewhat Christian background. That is to say, he’s not into religion but his family has always celebrated Christmas. This is a difficult holiday for this Jewish girl to embrace, as it’s basically the ideological dividing point between Jews and Christians. I’m not very religious, but I do have a bit of guilt about celebrating Christmas. I was raised to understand that Jewish children just don’t celebrate Christmas, and I never felt left out. I actually felt special because we had this unique holiday that no one else did. I loved latkes and dreidles and not having to wait until Dec 25th to open my gifts, because Hannukah usually precedes Christmas. And, my great grandfather was a rabbi. And let’s face it, Jewish guilt comes naturally to me!

Either way, we are trying to emphasize Hannukah and Christmas on alternating years. This year it’s Christmas. So, I am lighting the candles and exposing Maya to the bracha (prayer/blessing) since she’s now old enough to say it. But really we’re engaging in all kinds of Western Christmas traditions like decorating the the tree, making gingerbread houses and of course educating our daughter about the whole Santa story. I don’t love it. In fact, I kind of dislike it. The whole holiday frenzy that everyone gets into, the consumerism that creates the obligation to buy buy buy, the pressure to get up a tree and lights and cook a huge dinner on this one day. Don’t get me wrong, the tree is nice and I love turkey dinners, but as an adult who doesn’t have any of the feelings of nostalgia for my own childhood Christmas joy (since there was no Christmas in our house), I tend to feel like it’s all a big hassle and very artificial.

Still, I want to do this for my husband and his family. Afterall, Christmas is as important to them as my traditions are to me. Embracing both backgrounds is difficult. Especially because I want Maya to see herself as a Jew and embrace her Jewish heritage as I have done, but how do I do that without discounting my husband’s background? I know I must support his traditions as much as mine, and I do. But it is hard… harder than I imagined it would be.

it’s official

Since my last post about sleep, or the lack thereof, things have gotten better in some ways and worse in others.

The better part: baby seems to be stretching out her sleeps on occasion, giving me the odd 4 or 5 hour stretch (of course this is usually in the early part of the evening when I am awake thinking she’s going to wake up to nurse one more time before bed!) which gives me hope that she’s going to sleep through the night one day. She also seems to stay asleep most of the night simply waking up to nurse (while tucked in beside me in bed) and then falling back asleep without needing to be burped or rocked or anything (don’t get me wrong I’m still up every 3 hours to nurse and I’m still sleep deprived, just a little less so)…. what’s that universe? Your going to make me eat my words? Undoubtedly I’ve taunted you just by mentioning this out loud!

The worse part: Maya has officially quit napping. It’s not that she doesn’t need to nap, but she’s decided that she doesn’t want to. That said, she is managing through her wakeful afternoons with relative ease, usually having only one major meltdown and needing a single screaming & crying time-out to recover. Ah yes, the joy our children bring us!

At first I was in denial that she was done napping, and then I mourned the loss of the nap a little, because it was also MY nap. Are these the stages of grieving? If they are I’m now accepting the reality of no nap and appreciating the fact that there is actually an upside to no nap. I can now plan stuff in the afternoons, including play dates with other friends whose children don’t nap, and I can run errands of all kinds. It is nice NOT to be stranded at home. And anyway, as soon as Morgan starts having regular naps and stops sleeping well on the go, I’m going to be stuck at home not once, but most likely twice a day, so I’m enjoying the freedom while it lasts.

Maya is mastering the art of whispering and I’m mastering the art of dozing in a sitting-up position on the sofa while Morgan nurses and Maya plays nearby. This scene just about tops my list of things I never saw coming.